There’s a leadership truth I’ve learned over the years that applies to every area of life: you get what you tolerate.
“What you allow, you endorse.” Think about it.
If you tolerate people showing up late to meetings, you’ll soon have a culture where lateness is normal.
If you tolerate dishonesty, you’ll end up surrounded by it.
If you tolerate jerks, guess what? You’ll attract more jerks — and the good people, the ones who bring energy and trust, will quietly find their way out the door.
That’s the thing about culture.
It isn’t the mission statement framed on the wall.
It isn’t the slogan printed on the t-shirts.
Culture is simply this: the way we do things around here.
And here’s the kicker — your culture isn’t built by the moments you hype up, it’s built by the behaviors you tolerate.
The Silent Culture of Tolerance
Every family, workplace, friendship, and team has a “silent culture.” It’s the unwritten rulebook of what’s okay and what’s not. And the truth is, we don’t always realize we’re writing that rulebook by default.
- Here are a few common tolerances I’ve seen — not just in sales teams, but in everyday life:
- Lateness: Show up five minutes late once and nobody says anything? Suddenly “on time” starts meaning “whenever I roll in.”
- Mediocrity: Letting half-effort slide because “at least it got done”? Before long, excellence feels like overachieving.
- Dishonesty: Tolerating small lies because “it’s not that big of a deal”? That small crack in integrity always widens.
- Toxic attitudes: Letting negativity linger because confronting it feels uncomfortable? That energy spreads like wildfire.
The danger is, every time we let something slide, we unintentionally teach the people around us — and ourselves — that it’s acceptable.
What you tolerate today becomes tomorrow’s standard.
Why This Matters Beyond Leadership
- This isn’t just about running a company or leading a team. This is about the way you live your life.
- In relationships: What do you tolerate from friends or partners that chips away at trust or respect?
- In your health: What habits are you tolerating that silently lower your energy or confidence?
- In your mindset: What thoughts do you tolerate that keep you from stepping into your best self?
We all have standards. The question is — are you actively choosing them, or are you letting them be shaped by what you’re willing to put up with?
A Challenge for You
Take a moment and ask yourself this simple but powerful question:
What am I tolerating that’s holding me back?
Maybe it’s a person in your life who drains your energy.
Maybe it’s a habit that keeps you stuck in cycles of frustration.
Maybe it’s a thought you’ve let repeat so many times it feels like truth.
Whatever it is — here’s the truth: you get what you tolerate.
Raise the standard, and you’ll raise your culture — whether that’s your family culture, your personal culture, or the culture of the people you lead.
And when you raise your culture? You raise your life.
Make it a great day, my friend 🤝
—Ben
