One of my favorite childhood movies was Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.
Harrison Ford’s relentless pursuit of the Holy Grail, a sacred cup said to grant eternal life, captivated me.
Joined by his father, a lifelong Grail scholar, Indiana races against the Nazis in what appears to be a high-stakes adventure.
But beneath the action lies something deeper: a story about legacy.
While the movie is fiction, I’ve discovered a real-world equivalent in leadership.
After more than two decades building and leading sales teams and mentoring thousands of leaders, I’ve identified a common thread among the best: they live Genshai.
The Ancient Principle That Changes Everything
Genshai is an ancient Hindi word meaning “to never treat another person in a manner that would make them feel small.”
I call it the Holy Grail of Leadership because leaders who embody Genshai possess a rare ability to consistently bring out the best in others.
They earn the deepest respect, build the strongest trust, and drive the highest results.
As my friend Lance Sciffman, founder of the Genshai Foundation, calls them, these “Genshai warriors” leave a mark that outlives their title.
Their impact multiplies, creating lasting change in the lives they touch.
The 3 Laws of Genshai
- Treat People BIG
- Big Doesn’t Mean Soft
- Be Soft Like a Brick
These are the building blocks of transformational leadership.
At the core of Genshai lies a critical skill: having effective, difficult conversations that create a culture of intentional results.
The best leaders have mastered the balance between soft and brick… what I call being “Soft Like a Brick.”
Soft means the people you lead know you genuinely care about them and have their best interests at heart.
Brick means you’re willing and skilled at having necessary tough conversations that challenge them to grow.
Being soft like a brick means learning to balance care with candor, empathy with accountability.
The Two Ways Leaders Destroy Their Influence
Most leaders undermine their effectiveness by swinging the pendulum too far in one direction.
Scenario 1: The Avoider
They dodge tough conversations to “keep the peace.” They sugarcoat the truth. But this isn’t kindness, it’s self-protection. What they create isn’t harmony, it’s stagnation.
Scenario 2: The Hammer
They go full “brick” and crush people in the process. They’re clear but not kind. What they build isn’t trust, it’s resentment and artificial harmony. High-fives in the hallway. Knives in the back behind closed doors.
Neither is leadership.
Real leadership isn’t either/or. It’s both.
Why Clear Is Kind
Listen: clear is kind. Avoiding a hard conversation is unkind.
It treats someone small. It’s the opposite of Genshai.
American actress Lillian Gish said it perfectly: “I like it when people come back and tell me what I did wrong. It’s the kindest thing they can do for me.”
When leaders are willing to be clear, this clarity builds a culture where teams win.
They earn loyalty, respect, trust, and results.
Genshai isn’t about being soft-spoken; it’s about being honorably direct.
If you’re thinking, “I don’t want them to feel small,” good.
You’re halfway there. But don’t stop there.
The True Cost of Avoidance
When you skip the “brick” part of leadership:
- You create fake harmony
- Accountability disappears
- Results suffer
When you skip the “soft” part:
- Trust erodes
- People tune out or resist you
- Culture deteriorates like termites silently destroying your foundation
Either way, you lose. The team loses. But everything changes when you get the balance right.
The Goal of Every Tough Conversation
When you have an effective tough conversation, your people should leave feeling motivated and inspired, not deflated and resentful.
Mastering these conversations is Genshai in action.
This is the Holy Grail of leadership.
Practical Framework: Before You Have That Hard Conversation
Ask yourself: “Do they know I care about them?”
If the answer is yes, proceed.
If the answer is no, you have some work to do before the correction will be well-received.
Sometimes you will need to proceed with the correction anyways, but just know your ____ is likely to fall on deaf ears.
As you provide important feedback, start with the Golden Question: “Do I have your permission to challenge you?”
That one sentence gives them space to prepare and gives you permission to speak honestly.
Other powerful phrases:
- “Can I challenge you? Because I respect you.”
- “I commit to not under-lead you.”
- “I care about you too much to leave you where you’re at on this.”
- “I’m sorry if there was a misunderstanding; this wasn’t my intention. Let me be clearer.”
Building People, Not Just Fixing Problems
Effective, fierce conversations don’t just resolve issues.
They build people.
If you want to be the kind of leader people run to, not from—if you want to be respected, trusted, and known for building a culture of results, the Holy Grail of leadership is your answer.
I challenge you to strive to live Genshai:
- Treat people BIG
- Big doesn’t mean SOFT
- Be soft like a brick
And don’t just learn this. Live it.
In my #1 bestselling book Sellership™, I share the exact principles and frameworks we use in my consulting business to help leaders build thriving team cultures.
It’s about transforming how you live and lead so you can make the highest impact on the team you’re responsible for.
You can pick it up here: Sellership™
To your success,
Ben
P.S.If you’re serious about scaling your sales team, mastering leadership, and building a legacy you’re proud of, without burning out or breaking down, then the Sellership System™ Masterclass might be exactly what you need.
Explore the full experience here and discover what’s possible when you lead with vision, strategy, and heart.
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